There’s a part of me that sometimes wants to curl up into someone’s lap and live there forever. I would be small and loved and protected and nurtured and not have to make any decisions. Like an infant. Or a cat. Another part of me knows we’re not here to stay always small and still, or to give our power over to another person.
Maybe this knowing part of me is that which the other part of me – the weary one – can curl up into. Considering that Mother’s Day is coming up, let’s call this knowing aspect of ourselves the Perfect Mother. She is a shining facet of the inner Diamond, and we all have access. If you feel unacquainted with her and want an introduction, simply start keeping your eyes open for her. We create things by looking, and expecting to find. Or do we just… uncover them… re-discover them?
If I’m used to seeing myself as unable to take care of my own needs, then that’s who I’ll continue to be, until I choose to see differently. Until I choose to see my Perfect Mother, I’ll keep reaching out, instead of in, for what I need. And that’s fine except I’ll never get it. At least not in any consistent or lasting kind of way.
My mom was never taught that taking care of herself was important. She learned to be ever-vigilant for the needs of others, and I learned the same. Now I am learning something new – that I matter, and that my needs matter, and that I have the capacity to address them.
What does that mean – “taking care of yourself”? I see it as important work. An ever-changing process, as we evolve. It’s the behind-the-scenes sweaty stuff that often no one but you and the few others doing the same work will know about or appreciate. An essential part of the work is seeing that I’m the only one who needs to understand what I’m doing. What’s happening on stage isn’t important while I’m setting the background, the tone, and making sure the basic mechanics are solid.
Only you know how best to care for your body, mind and soul. That is, as long as you’re taking direction from the Perfect Mother and not the needy child in you. What would the ideal mother be like? (if you’d prefer to imagine a father or deity or angel, fine.) She might exude a warm, nurturing heart. She might shimmer with moon-y gentleness, innocence, and purity. She would accept you utterly, offering unconditional love and a never-ending flow of forgiveness for mistakes made and yet to be made. She sees the path to your happiness.
And she is you, really. Whenever we turn within for sustenance instead of thinking we can get it from the world, we access her; we become her. And when we’re acting from that space, we are happy to be busy behind the scenes, because we see that it’s where all the juice really is. The stage is often rather a barren place. And being our own Care-taker becomes not a chore but a rich, delicious, adventurous way of life. It’s tapping into perfect, non-stop love and approval. And the miracle is that as soon as we've hooked into our inner nurturer, the outside world begins to reflect that kindness back to us immediately.
Tomorrow, Friday, is the New Moon, which is a powerful time to begin something new. It might be fun to simply recall, every morning for the next 28 days, (or 7, or 2!) the idea of an inner Being who knows and loves us, and ask Her to bless your day.
And this Sunday is Mother’s Day. Let us celebrate the women who gave us birth and feeding and watering and bathing… and in many cases so very much more. Let us honour the aspects of her that we appreciate most. And let us truly begin to get to know and celebrate the Perfect Mother in ourselves, who will be there for us in full resplendence, every single time we call.